I SWEAR TO GOD IT’S LIKE THE COSMOS DON’T WANT ME TO FINISH THIS.
Okay, so about a week ago, my subscription to MS Office expired, but since I haven’t closed MS Word or turned my laptop off (I’m a hibernate kind of person), it hasn’t affected anything. Welp, on Tuesday, my computer randomly and without warning decided to update, effectively shutting down EVERYTHING, including MS Word, which of course includes my NaNo WIP.
And naturally, it took all damn day to finish updating, which means that I didn’t get a single word written on Tuesday. Balls. (Thankfully, I’m a religious saver, so I didn’t lose anything, but it was still annoying.)
On top of that little setback, I spent the better part of my week packing, sorting, and otherwise clearing out my bedroom. With the impending move getting closer and closer, packing is becoming more and more important. Then there’s the first freeze of the season tomorrow (boo) and that meant winterizing shit at the barn, hunting down a new blanket for my blanket-mutilating horse, etc.
Blah blah blah, this boils down to me being approximately 6,000 words behind at present.
*sobs in a corner into a gallon tub of Blue Bell vanilla ice cream*
When I first committed to doing NaNoWriMo back in September, originally it was with the intention of taking a break between gathering beta reader feedback and polishing my first manuscript, Generation Y, and beginning work on the next one, Generation X. I have a few chapters of Gen X started and drafted, as well as a rough outline of what I want to happen, but I’ve been eating, sleeping, breathing, and ass-kicking in the Generations story world for the entirety of my writer life. I needed a break.
Well, on Monday I had a ridiculous realization: I’m just not passionate about my NaNo WIP. Writing it is more like writing an essay for college than a story about characters I love.
I don’t know my characters very well. The plot started dragging around the 20K-word mark so I had to skip ahead to the 30% mark to finally get my ass writing again. I have a very strong feeling that this is going to end up being one of the many stories I’ve started that gets discarded because there just isn’t any passion in it for me. I just don’t love it. And that’s a problem.
That said, I’m going to finish NaNoWriMo with it. Ideal word count is 100k, so I’ve got room to jump around and write rather than follow a linear plan (something I thought I’d try for once but clearly isn’t working). Once NaNo is over, though, it’s gonna be back to my Generations series. I just… I love that story so damn much and there’s so much potential with it.
Who knows? Maybe later on, after Generations as a whole is done, I’ll revisit my NaNoWriMo novel, finish it, and publish it. Or, maybe it’ll be another one that I have to noodle on for ten years before it becomes anything worth reading.
I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
*sobs hysterically in a dark corner*